I’m 87% sure no one in my major will ever talk to me again after last night… When they started chanting “We’re unemployed!” I screamed “EXCEPT FOR ME, BITCHES!!!!!!!” several times I kept telling everyone “Not be an asshole or anything, but I won the biggest award so I was kind of the best…” I found a temporary tattoo of a butterfly in my pocket, so I bent some kid I did a presentation with over and poured my entire drink down his pants to get the sticker on his skin I tried to reenact the Ciara and Justin Timberlake “Love, Sex, Magic” dance with the same kid and popped my shoulder out of place (but I was too drunk to feel real pain and just kept whining about how I needed an ice pack to prevent the sober hurting) I danced with my friend who was on the Ag bar crawl, and one of the boys came up to me and told me I “inspired a boner”

I’m 87% sure no one in my major will ever talk to me again after last night…

  • When they started chanting “We’re unemployed!” I screamed “EXCEPT FOR ME, BITCHES!!!!!!!” several times
  • I kept telling everyone “Not be an asshole or anything, but I won the biggest award so I was kind of the best…”
  • I found a temporary tattoo of a butterfly in my pocket, so I bent some kid I did a presentation with over and poured my entire drink down his pants to get the sticker on his skin
  • I tried to reenact the Ciara and Justin Timberlake “Love, Sex, Magic” dance with the same kid and popped my shoulder out of place (but I was too drunk to feel real pain and just kept whining about how I needed an ice pack to prevent the sober hurting)
  • I danced with my friend who was on the Ag bar crawl, and one of the boys came up to me and told me I “inspired a boner”